The first few days with a new baby are like none other. All of a sudden, this tiny person has been thrust into your arms and sent home with you. Even if this is not your first child, your world is still turned upside down. Those first few days are the beginning of finding your new normal.

The good thing is, as difficult as it all sounds, those first few days are also amazing. You have been introduced to a love beyond what you ever felt possible. That makes up for everything else.

Still, there are a few things you need to know to fully understand what to expect in those first few days. Just like I mentioned in my previous post about what to expect during labor and delivery; people sometimes forget to share the harder parts of having a baby. Or forget them entirely. It’s how babies end up with siblings. Either way, I have some important advice for new dads

1. Postpartum Hormones

Pregnancy hormones were just a test. The real deal is in the days after birth where your wife morphs into a veritable Jekyll and Hyde,

Her body is hard at work trying to re-balance her hormones. She may suddenly cry for no reason at all and be unable to stop. She may lose her shit when you leave your cup on the counter instead of putting it in the dishwasher.

Things can go from 0 to 100 real quick. Please be aware, the wife you know and love is in there.

Be Patient. Never show fear.

2.  Sleep after Baby

There’s a reason the US military used sleep deprivation as a means of torture. Clearly it works. You will never understand this like you will in those first few weeks with a newborn.

That whole “sleep when the baby sleeps?” Complete joke. You might be able to catch a little sleep that way but it’s unlikely unless you are able to fall asleep instantly. Our bodies aren’t wired to sleep frequently during the day so it likely takes you a bit to unwind.

Also, newborn babies, especially breastfeed ones, need to eat frequently. Your doctor will probably want you waking the baby to feed every 2-3 hours until they have reached a weight goal.

Sleep is a myth with new babies. Or at least it exists as an anomaly. Accept it, and work together to get as much sleep as possible. This will pass and before you know it, you’ll be complaining about a teen-ager who sleeps too much!

3. Mama needs you too.

Listen up Daddys. This one is important.

For 9 months you focus on baby’s arrival. You read and research, attend baby classes, try to plan everything so things go smoothly. When baby arrives your world implodes and baby is the sun.

As they should be, right? Maybe…but in the process the leading lady of this whole production often gets ignored.

RELATED POST: 3 Things Dads should know about Life after Baby

She just spent 9 months of her life growing your child, from a microscopic egg, to a full sized human baby. She has shared her food, her blood, her breath, her whole being with this child. Her entire body ached in ways you could not possibly imagine. She was exhausted before the baby even got here.

And then…

She endures an intense, agonizing labor which leaves her body hemorrhaging blood, possibly ripped and sewn in her most delicate places, and ultimately incredibly sore because she just pushed a bowling ball through a hole the size of a doughnut.

That’s if she her body wasn’t sliced open and rearranged during a C-section.

There is no “recovery” period after childbirth. Instead of allowing her body to heal as it so desperately needs, she is handed a tiny human and thrown full force into motherhood and all the challenges it entails. And she does it with no sleep. Imagine sleep deprivation after your body has essentially been broken in a thousand different ways.

Starting to get the picture? Mama needs some babying herself. Forgot the expensive push presents, how about some help?

The BEST advice for new Dads

So in summary Dads, I recommend the following 3 mantras become part of your daily routine.

1. “My wife is not crazy.”
2. “I will sleep again.”
3. “My wife is an amazing Goddess who I owe for all eternity.” or something like that.

If you repeat these on the daily, your baby will sleep through the night and your wife will be as pleasant as punch.  Life will be a breeze.

On a serious note. Welcome to fatherhood. You’ve got this.